tangled mortal webs

It was a weekend of new union, reunion, friendships and fools. Blond hosted Nicker as a guest at Blond's Abode. The natural outcome of the uncommon friendship we all have betwixt us. Rick was a taboo topic of discussion, which meant he was only discussed in drunken moments--a monologue of sorts from Nicker as Blond and her new boy-of-hope smiled and sighed in reminiscence of distant youth.

I, several hundred miles away, spent my own time reflecting at a reunion. Nineteen years past that we were merely freshmen--we've gained weight, lost hair, kept who we chose half a life ago. I still wonder how we manage our choice. I ponder the possibility that we've all had moments (minutes, months) of misgivings--marriage does that sometimes. It felt almost awkward being without my husband, but completely fitting: while I chose him in college, he did not attend my college. Referring to him in absentia while my former roommate stood at my side.... Had we not been telling tales of our children, had our clothes been more college casual--would the passage of time been noticed?

One of my bass players--I seem to find them like pennies in a parking lot--was present with his then-girlfriend/now-wife. While he was off talking to his old roommate, she gave us news about another friend who happens to be an ex-boyfriend of hers. And we laughed about how jealous her bass player husband acted during the visit from the ex. As I laughed with them, I wondered if she knew about me and her bass player--my "illicit affair" freshman year, the traditional succumbing to spring.

Back then, I was dating a nice enough (jealous, possessive, insecure, foolish) boy who was a senior in high school. But the high school boy wasn't a bass player with blond hair and blue eyes--ever my weakness. I could overlook a lack of height with those other three traits. Despite the "Night Moves" nature of the "spring fling" relationship, the bass player and I became friends. We have enough in common for that--dating would have been a disaster. This is not to say that bass player was an incompetent kisser--he was competent enough for my standards at the time. But we are both headstrong and creative and enough insecure that someone would have gotten defensive and gone on the offensive in search of a security blanket of one sort or another. In all likelihood, it would have been booze for him and a new boy for me--bad combinations, based on what his wife said. Much better that things turned out as they have.

But still, I wonder if she knows. I wonder if my husband knows. I must have mentioned it. I certainly spoke of it in passing just the other month. Perhaps he forgot--quite probably he doesn't care. It predated our dating, after all. Besides, this guy would be just another bass player with blond hair and blue eyes--a trend that has become a joke.

Perhaps I should mention it to Rick--for two reasons. The second being that he has a ...trend... as well--the bakefiend lawyer isn't the first girl named "K_" that Rick has dated. When I told my former roommate about Rick's new girlfriend, her reply was, "Not another fucking "K_." I laughed--Rick had once told me about his trend and its status of joke amongst his oldest friends. My former roommate is the one who first introduced Rick to our clan of college compatriots about five years ago. She'd known Rick for over ten years at that point--his "K_" trend was well established by then.

The first reason is a reflection on Rick--a reason he knows full well. Blond had a good laugh about it when I first noticed Rick as an object of lust. She laughed so hard, she had to tell him what the joke was. Eventually, he mentioned it to me. You see, Rick is just another guy with blond hair and blue eyes who played a bass guitar....