putting things in perspective

Rick has called it off with Nicker. He did this about ten days ago. I had first warning, being privileged enough to hit informational jackpots with him on a semi-regular basis. The move was spurred by a woman he has been pursuing for nearly a year. She is no longer comfortable with his involvement with other women, at least not in the romantic sense. We shall see where this leaves me--she knows me as his friend. She and I respect, appreciate and even like each other, but I tread carefully.

Rick also managed to get relegated to the friendship freezer by a woman who lived with him for around 18 months the day before. I knew that was coming, but I didn't warn him. His former live-in being a very close friend of mine.

And the former live-in knows about Rick and I--the original intent was for me to be a corporate spy for her. In many ways, that backfired. In very many ways....

Nicker could feel the break coming--she called me to ask. Once again, a woman was putting me in a position to dance the line of friendship. At what point would I decide to lie for the sake of keeping Rick's confidentiality? I've lied to more than one friend on more than one occasion because he asked me not to tell. Sins of omission are too numerous to count at this point. Keeping his confidence is a requirement of friendship with Rick--it is a price I am willing to pay at this point. He is aware of the cost to me, though. It is not a price paid lightly.


Nicker was heartbroken--briefly. The connection--the chemistry--wasn't really there. She knew it. It was the end of some spun-sugar fantasies of hers, but those were fantasies which needed to be lost in the rain. Rick felt guilty for hurting her. Rick doesn't like to hurt his friends, but he seems to have a gift for it.... Hence his being frozen out by his former live-in--an act which hurts him greatly. He will have to live with the pain--as she has been.

The former live-in was not only hurt but damaged by his actions and misdirections. It is taking time and effort for her to rebuild her heart and perceptions. And I am nearly livid with him for his sins of omission where she is concerned. But he is the mirror of my soul--the thought of life without him makes me numb.

But it is a numbness which I need to consider. I do not know how long his lawyer love will stand for this relationship he has with me. He cannot use a grandfather clause on me--she held the moniker of "friend" before I did. Though I did meet him before she did, a loophole which I anticipate him to exploit. I'm not sure how I feel about that lie of timeliness. I do not think it is a lie I can keep. Lawyer love is no fool, and I am no liar--despite the practice at that act I put in this year.....