I called Rick today. I misread an e-mail from him and managed to drop a date I needed to keep in mind. As my penance, I picked up the phone at lunch and called him. He answered. We talked: he about his problems, me about mine. We each think the other has it harder. Part of the awkward story of our friendship, I suppose.
To improve his mood, as the phone call was not as uplifting as I intended it to be, I searched cyberia for pictures to warm the cockles of his cock. I managed to find two--one a body double of me as far as breasts go. The second was a left-of-center breast in a shower. I wrote him a story about taking a shower once, so I thought it would be appropriate. (One day I might reprint it here... perhaps.)
He has not replied regarding the pictures yet. I'm torn between impatience and understanding. I am certain enough that he is out of the office, dealing with the accursed new building on the property. But if he is at his desk, it being after 5:00pm, he should send me a thank you. Whether he takes me up on my offer to do more (within reason being understood, I hope) is something else I'm waiting to hear.
But now I'm going to go write something distracting about Blond or Brunette. That should be done and ready for you by November, perhaps even sooner. Provided I put myself to work now....
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
tangled mortal webs
It was a weekend of new union, reunion, friendships and fools. Blond hosted Nicker as a guest at Blond's Abode. The natural outcome of the uncommon friendship we all have betwixt us. Rick was a taboo topic of discussion, which meant he was only discussed in drunken moments--a monologue of sorts from Nicker as Blond and her new boy-of-hope smiled and sighed in reminiscence of distant youth.
I, several hundred miles away, spent my own time reflecting at a reunion. Nineteen years past that we were merely freshmen--we've gained weight, lost hair, kept who we chose half a life ago. I still wonder how we manage our choice. I ponder the possibility that we've all had moments (minutes, months) of misgivings--marriage does that sometimes. It felt almost awkward being without my husband, but completely fitting: while I chose him in college, he did not attend my college. Referring to him in absentia while my former roommate stood at my side.... Had we not been telling tales of our children, had our clothes been more college casual--would the passage of time been noticed?
One of my bass players--I seem to find them like pennies in a parking lot--was present with his then-girlfriend/now-wife. While he was off talking to his old roommate, she gave us news about another friend who happens to be an ex-boyfriend of hers. And we laughed about how jealous her bass player husband acted during the visit from the ex. As I laughed with them, I wondered if she knew about me and her bass player--my "illicit affair" freshman year, the traditional succumbing to spring.
Back then, I was dating a nice enough (jealous, possessive, insecure, foolish) boy who was a senior in high school. But the high school boy wasn't a bass player with blond hair and blue eyes--ever my weakness. I could overlook a lack of height with those other three traits. Despite the "Night Moves" nature of the "spring fling" relationship, the bass player and I became friends. We have enough in common for that--dating would have been a disaster. This is not to say that bass player was an incompetent kisser--he was competent enough for my standards at the time. But we are both headstrong and creative and enough insecure that someone would have gotten defensive and gone on the offensive in search of a security blanket of one sort or another. In all likelihood, it would have been booze for him and a new boy for me--bad combinations, based on what his wife said. Much better that things turned out as they have.
But still, I wonder if she knows. I wonder if my husband knows. I must have mentioned it. I certainly spoke of it in passing just the other month. Perhaps he forgot--quite probably he doesn't care. It predated our dating, after all. Besides, this guy would be just another bass player with blond hair and blue eyes--a trend that has become a joke.
Perhaps I should mention it to Rick--for two reasons. The second being that he has a ...trend... as well--the bakefiend lawyer isn't the first girl named "K_" that Rick has dated. When I told my former roommate about Rick's new girlfriend, her reply was, "Not another fucking "K_." I laughed--Rick had once told me about his trend and its status of joke amongst his oldest friends. My former roommate is the one who first introduced Rick to our clan of college compatriots about five years ago. She'd known Rick for over ten years at that point--his "K_" trend was well established by then.
The first reason is a reflection on Rick--a reason he knows full well. Blond had a good laugh about it when I first noticed Rick as an object of lust. She laughed so hard, she had to tell him what the joke was. Eventually, he mentioned it to me. You see, Rick is just another guy with blond hair and blue eyes who played a bass guitar....
I, several hundred miles away, spent my own time reflecting at a reunion. Nineteen years past that we were merely freshmen--we've gained weight, lost hair, kept who we chose half a life ago. I still wonder how we manage our choice. I ponder the possibility that we've all had moments (minutes, months) of misgivings--marriage does that sometimes. It felt almost awkward being without my husband, but completely fitting: while I chose him in college, he did not attend my college. Referring to him in absentia while my former roommate stood at my side.... Had we not been telling tales of our children, had our clothes been more college casual--would the passage of time been noticed?
One of my bass players--I seem to find them like pennies in a parking lot--was present with his then-girlfriend/now-wife. While he was off talking to his old roommate, she gave us news about another friend who happens to be an ex-boyfriend of hers. And we laughed about how jealous her bass player husband acted during the visit from the ex. As I laughed with them, I wondered if she knew about me and her bass player--my "illicit affair" freshman year, the traditional succumbing to spring.
Back then, I was dating a nice enough (jealous, possessive, insecure, foolish) boy who was a senior in high school. But the high school boy wasn't a bass player with blond hair and blue eyes--ever my weakness. I could overlook a lack of height with those other three traits. Despite the "Night Moves" nature of the "spring fling" relationship, the bass player and I became friends. We have enough in common for that--dating would have been a disaster. This is not to say that bass player was an incompetent kisser--he was competent enough for my standards at the time. But we are both headstrong and creative and enough insecure that someone would have gotten defensive and gone on the offensive in search of a security blanket of one sort or another. In all likelihood, it would have been booze for him and a new boy for me--bad combinations, based on what his wife said. Much better that things turned out as they have.
But still, I wonder if she knows. I wonder if my husband knows. I must have mentioned it. I certainly spoke of it in passing just the other month. Perhaps he forgot--quite probably he doesn't care. It predated our dating, after all. Besides, this guy would be just another bass player with blond hair and blue eyes--a trend that has become a joke.
Perhaps I should mention it to Rick--for two reasons. The second being that he has a ...trend... as well--the bakefiend lawyer isn't the first girl named "K_" that Rick has dated. When I told my former roommate about Rick's new girlfriend, her reply was, "Not another fucking "K_." I laughed--Rick had once told me about his trend and its status of joke amongst his oldest friends. My former roommate is the one who first introduced Rick to our clan of college compatriots about five years ago. She'd known Rick for over ten years at that point--his "K_" trend was well established by then.
The first reason is a reflection on Rick--a reason he knows full well. Blond had a good laugh about it when I first noticed Rick as an object of lust. She laughed so hard, she had to tell him what the joke was. Eventually, he mentioned it to me. You see, Rick is just another guy with blond hair and blue eyes who played a bass guitar....
Thursday, October 4, 2007
and in losing....
Rick has a girlfriend. It is serious. Hopefully not serious in a controlling way, but serious in a joyful way. The girlfriend is a bakefiend and freshly minted lawyer--I enjoyed her company when I met her this summer, before she became the girlfriend.
The test regarding control will come soon. My last grandmother passed away this week. While that seems non sequitor, it is not. Rick and I founded our friendship on something I dub "Maudlin Friday." We drink, we discuss topics of sadness and loss, we snuggle, and we sleep--in separate spaces. It is a party of two, by two, for two--no other parties need apply. It is as close to a therapist's office as he or I will go....
I do not know how soon I will make it down for a Maudlin Friday, but the need is there. The other thing I do not know is how Bakefiend Lawyer will take my request to have him all to myself. The request will be issued via Rick, naturally. Push comes to shove, she will win.
The question: will she consider my request an attempt to shove her out and keep part of him all to myself? She is no fool: I would never try to keep a secret from her. But this is a question of boundaries--it will be interesting to see where the lines are drawn. Especially the lines drawn by Rick....
The test regarding control will come soon. My last grandmother passed away this week. While that seems non sequitor, it is not. Rick and I founded our friendship on something I dub "Maudlin Friday." We drink, we discuss topics of sadness and loss, we snuggle, and we sleep--in separate spaces. It is a party of two, by two, for two--no other parties need apply. It is as close to a therapist's office as he or I will go....
I do not know how soon I will make it down for a Maudlin Friday, but the need is there. The other thing I do not know is how Bakefiend Lawyer will take my request to have him all to myself. The request will be issued via Rick, naturally. Push comes to shove, she will win.
The question: will she consider my request an attempt to shove her out and keep part of him all to myself? She is no fool: I would never try to keep a secret from her. But this is a question of boundaries--it will be interesting to see where the lines are drawn. Especially the lines drawn by Rick....
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